1. Consider the Knicks: CTK is back to his winning ways with his second consecutive 7-2 victory.🏅 Nikola Vucevic continues his dream season with another big week. Vucci put up 21.3 pionts, 2 treys, 13.3 rebs, 3.7 ast, 2 steals, 1.7 blocks on 51.8% fg and was the 3rd best player of the week.🏅 Consider the Knicks is dealing with the injury bug with Porzingis, Adams, Dragic and Bradley all nursing ailments. Hopefully they come back soon and the rest of the guys can step up against 4th place The Never Nudes.
2. Nocturnal Sunuva Gun: Nocturnal squeaked by with another 5-4 victory and maintains his hold on 2nd place. His BPW was Courtney Lee who put up 19 points, 2 treys, 4 rebs, 3 ast, and 2 steals on 41% fg and 100% ft - good for 21st player of the week. The spotlight just follows Nocturnal around because yep you guessed it, he's got the 🔥 MATCHUP OF THE WEEK. 🔥 against 3rd place Queef Latina. QL has been on fire so it should be an interesting matchup to keep an eye on, and will definitely impact the standings.
3. Queef Latina: Queef continues to roll with another win (4th in a row). Jimmy Butler emerges again as QL's best player as he put up 27.2 points, 1 trey, 6.3 rebs, 4.7 ast, 2 steals, and .7 blocks with 44.3% fg and 100% ft - good for 9th best player of the week. QL better be ready this week because he is entering the 🔥 MATCHUP OF THE WEEK 🔥 against 2nd place Nocturnal Sunuva Gun. This will be a good test for QL and could bump him up to 2nd place if he wins big.
4. The Never Nudes: TNN moves up a spot after a close 5-4 victory. Is he looking to buy or is he just curious? One thing we are buying on is Jrue Holiday's performance this week. He posted 26 points, 3.7 treys, 5.3 rebs, 6.3 ast, 2.7 steals, and .7 blocks on 57.1% - good for 5th best player of the week. It's nice to see Jrue finally playing like he used to. He also stepped up in the absence of Anthony Davis. The Never Nudes has a big matchup with the 1st place Consider the Knicks this week. It would have been the matchup of the week if the 2nd and 3rd place teams weren't playing.
5. I'm a Creep: Even with the injuries IAC still put up a good fight, only losing 4-5 to the 2nd place team. He only dropped one spot as a result, and it was just his first loss in the last 7 weeks. Not a bad run. Khris Middleton shows up again as his best player of the week. Middleton put up 22.3 points, 2.3 treys, 5.7 rebs, 6 ast, 2 steals on 40% fg and 100% ft - good for 11th best player of the week. I'm a Creep plays 9th place The Brodie this week. Be careful The Brodie is a tough team despite his standing.
6. HowMuchDoYouSquat: Yuck, another 4-5 loss for HMDYS. He has now lost 6 out of the last 7 weeks, however all of those losses were 4-5 so he isn't losing too much ground in the standings. There seems to be something missing to get him back on the winning side of things. The hella woke flat-earther Kyrie Irving was his best player of the week. Irving put up 28.7 pints, 3.3 treys, 2.3 rebs, 6.3 ast, and .7 blocks on 49.2% fg and 94.1% ft - good for 10th best player of the week. HMDYS has a friendly rivalry matchup this week against Young Kangz and also has to face a healthy Kawhi.
7. RimmyTinTin: Rimz suffered a loss for the 3rd straight week. It's been tough times in Rim Tin Tin land. Myles Turner played modestly well with 16.3 points, 1 trey, 6 rebs, 2 ast, 2.3 block on 50% fg and 83.3% ft - good for 34th best player of the week. Rimz has a couple injuries but the rest of his squad just isn't clicking. They need a kick in the butt. He has a favorable matchup against 11th place KAPT this week. Maybe that'll turn things around.
8. Booker's Hookers: After salvaging a 5-4 win two weeks ago, BH falls 4-5 this week. His best player of the week was CJ McCollum who put up 23.5 points, 2 treys, 2.5 rebs, 3 ast, .5 steals and .5 blocks on 52.2% fg and 94.1% ft - good for 25th best player of the week. It's been tough luck lately, but BH has a favorable matchup against the last place White Sides Matter this week to maybe turn things around.
9. The Brodie: TB continues to trend of winning after a losing week. On the plus side he has a new best player of the week and it's not LeBron!🏅 Chris Paul put up 17.1 pints, 4 treys, 6.2 rebs, 7.8 ast, 3.2 steals, and .5 block, on 53.8% fg and 94.7% ft - good for best player of the week🏅 Chris Paul has come back in a big way and the Rockets are undefeated in every game he has played in.The Brodie faces 5th place I'm a Creep this week.
10. Young Kangz: The drought is over! After 6 straight losses, YK finally pulls out the W. It can't be any coincidence his win occurs with the return of his first round pick Kawhi Leonard. His BPW was Al Horford who put up 17 points, 1.3 treys, 5.7 rebs, 6 ast, and .7 steals on 55% fg and 75% ft - good for 24th best player. With an almost fully healthy lineup Young Kangz has a friendly rivalry matchup with HowMuchCanYouSquat. Have Kawhi do the talking for you and show him how much.
11. KarlAnthonyPoundTown: As he approaches the last step on the stair case KAPT takes a deep breath. His hand trembles with anticipation as he pushes the door open. Immediately his eyes are blinded by the bright light. He staggers backwards, but defiantly he thinks he will not go back to where he came from. Karl Anthony Pound Town has left the cellar my friends. Even with the 4-5 loss KAPt was able to move up a spot in the standings.🏅 Helping him get there was none other than Karl-Anthony who put up 25.7 points, 2 treys, 13.7 rebs, 3.7 ast, 2.3 steals, 3 block on 49% fg and 74.2% ft - good for 2nd best player of the week.🏅 KAPT has a UCSC showdown with 7th place RimmyTinTin.
12. White Sides Matter: We have a new resident cellar dweller. Injuries play a key factor here as WSM has 5 players listed as injured, most of them who are usually top 50 guys. At least his new addition Nikola Mirotic is producing as he put up 25 points, 3 treys, 8.3 rebs, .7 ast, 1 steal on 56.2% fg and 70% ft - good for 17th best player of the week. WSM just needs to be patient and wait to get his studs back. He faces 8th place Booker's Hookers this week.
Patrick's Power Rankings
- Consider the Knicks
- Queef Latina
- The Never Nudes
- Nocturnal Sunuva Gun
- The Brodie
- RimmyTinTin
- I'm a Creep
- Young Kangz
- Booker's Hookers
- HowMuchDoYouSquat?
- KarlAnthonyPoundTown
- White Sides Matter
Colonic Clairvoyance
- Consider the Knicks (5) vs The Never Nudes (4)
- Queef Latina (5) vs Nocturnal Sunuva Gun (4)
- The Brodie (5) vs I'm a Creep (4)
- RimmyTinTin (6) vs Karl Anthony Pound Town (3)
- Young Kangz (5) vs HowMuchDoYouSquat (4)
- Booker's Hookers (7) vs White Sides Matter (2)
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